Just saying goodbye to my city...

I am sitting in a hotel room trying to come to terms with the fact that I am leaving Singapore, my home for five months, in three hours.  I can't believe it.  

To recap on the past few weeks, it has been incredible.  This last months has been one of the best of this whole semester.  I think it finally hit me that this was really ending, so I, and everyone else for that matter, made the most it.  We went out, we traveled, we somehow found time to study for finals, and just hung out as much as possible.  I think I went to Orchard with Saly every other day pretty much, or at least somewhere off campus.  We got really close over the past couple of months, and I know it will be a lasting friendship.  Alex and I also got close.  How could we not!?  We were the queens of movie nights in 1466 and just really enjoyed each other's company.  I made it to Butter Factory: a semester goal of mine and Saly's.  We went with Alex and Fabian.  Fabes and I finally made it past the pool friend stage and actually hung out a few times at the end of the semester.  I decided to spend the majority of April, my last month of exchange, in Singapore.  I didn't travel before finals, and just soaked up everything in the city--culture, people, my exchange friends, etc.  I don't regret that at all, and know it was the right decision.  

When I did travel at the end of the semester, Saly and I decided to go to Tioman island in Malaysia.  Everyone had raved about the island and told us it was a must-see, so of course, we had to see it!  We set out on our journey with our backpacks and didn't think twice about the option to walk across the Malaysian border as so many people had told us they had done it.  We knew it was a little bit of a walk, so after the sidewalk ended, we just kept walking...wrong decision.  We passed the deserted checkpoint which we later found out was the old checkpoint that our friends were referring to when they said they had walked across the border, however, that checkpoint was worthless now as the new one was built just this semester--about a mile and a half up the four-lane.  That's right, we walked along the highway, next to busses, motorbikes, and taxis to get to the new checkpoint.  Just when we thought it could not get worse, we saw above us on the bridge, immigration police pointing at us and talking into their radios.  

We freaked out of course, and turned around.  On the other side of the fence behind us came two Malaysian immigration officers who explained to us that we didn't have a choice but to keep walking along the road, which only narrowed as we walked further, to the checkpoint.  So we did, and although that was probably the most unsafe thing I have done my whole semester here, we made it across.  When we finally got to Tioman, eight hours after we set off, we found it to be a gorgeous island.  It is a jungle on a beach basically.  When I say that, not only do I mean it was a sight for our sore eyes, but the plant and animal life were definitely ready and waiting for us, or so it seemed.   On our way to find a hostel (of the six on the island) we were greeted by HUGE monitor lizards.  I don't just mean little creepy crawly things, but more like dragons the length of a bathtub!!!  They were all over the island along with crazy birds, weird looking cats, and tiny biting fish.  We finally got settled in and landed ourselves on the beach for a nice quiet afternoon.  

After walking around the beach and hanging out in the jungle of an island, Saly kindly draws my attention to the red dots appearing all over my back and legs.  Less than fifteen minutes later we had collected our beach towels.  Thirty minutes later, practically taking the words out of each other's mouths, Saly and I decided to chalk this trip up to our lack of ability to tolerate jungle nature, and head home the following morning.  So after 14 hours on Tioman, Saly and I hopped on the first ferry back to the mainland the next morning.  Pathetic?  Maybe, but finding a dragon under my porch was just a little much, not to mention the MILLION mystery bites I got all over my legs, back, arms, and stomach.  11 days later, and they still look awful.  Needless to say when we got back, Saly had moved in with me and Alex, and we just went out and camped out for the next few days.  Just as fun as an island trip if you ask me!

A little over a week ago my Mom made the trip to Singapore!  I had such a great time showing her around the town, but she had a hard time adjusting to the heat of Southeast Asia.  After two days spent with me in my no aircon dorm room, she decided we needed to get a hotel.  There I learned that I no longer like AC as it feels artificial and freezing cold to me.  We went to see CATS at the Esplanade the first evening she was here.  The show was fantastic--a sold out last show!  

The next day we headed to Bali, Indonesia where we spent five days lounging by the beach and pool, hanging out with people at the resort, getting spa treatments, and just catching up after five months of not seeing each other.  It was great!  We also randomly ran into Kush and his mom at our same resort, so were able to hang out with them for a couple of days, too!  

 

I think Mom came to the conclusion that traveling Asia may not be her forte, but I think she had a good time, anyway.  We lost uncle Larry within the first day she was here, so that made it a little hard to enjoy considering we both wished we could be with the family, but we knew we wouldn't be able to make it back in time.  When we came back from Bali we went to Chinatown, New Asia Bar, the Merlion, downtown, and just did a lot of sightseeing.  We ended the evening with a dinner on Clarke Quay for Mother's Day.  Little did Mom know, this was exactly the way I wanted to spend my last night Singapore.  Just saying goodbye to my city.  

I am so glad Mom made the trip to hang out with me during my last days here in Singapore.  I couldn't have chosen a better person to spend it with.  I feel bad because I known she had to see me so upset saying goodbye to Saly (I was a bawling mess) and Alex (even worse, not to mention in Boon Lay of all places).  She knew how sad I was to leave, but now I realize how happy I am to go home as well.  I miss everyone at home so badly, and can't wait to be with my family and close friends again so soon.  What is so hard for me to explain, however, is how torn I am between wanting to leave, and so badly wanting to stay, too.  I was talking to Mom tonight at dinner and said that some people are happy having their family and friends at home with them, while all I wanted all semester was to have the people I love traveling with me.  I know that's not possible, and I know that once I get home I'll be so happy to be there, but as my semester abroad comes to an end (literally in two hours) all I can think of is how afraid I am that I will never feel what I've felt these past five months again.  The anticipation, the surprise, the fear, the excitement, the newness, the adventure, the togetherness, and the feeling that I was learning something new every day.  I am afraid I will forget what it felt like to be abroad, and to be so far out of my comfort zone as I was in Southeast Asia, and to somehow find not only comfort, but to feel at home away from home.  I will miss it all (well, maybe not the extreme heat and crazy animals), and I hope to come back someday.  I also hope to manage to make it back to the states without swine flu.  This has been an incredible, and absolutely life-changing semester for me.  I remember in October wondering if I had made the right decision to come to Singapore, of all places, leaving a great and comfortable life behind.  I know now that I couldn't have made a better choice.  I'm sad to leave, but so glad that I did it.  Tonight I am saying goodbye to Singapore, and can't wait to see my family and friends back home!  It's been a great five months, that's for sure.